Responsibilities to One's Parents

Bismillâh, wa-l-hamdulillâh, wa-s-salâtu wa-s-salâmu `alâ rasûlillâh

Islam, the religion of morality and truth, has heavily enjoined upon man to honour, respect and be kind with one's parents. Islam has also warned of the consequences of one's ill-treatment, disrespect or disobeying of his/her parents.

This has been mentioned in many places in the Qur'ân, such as:

"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'" (TMQ al Isrâ' 17:23-24)

Note how Allâh has mentioned the command to worship none but Him alongside the command to be dutiful to one's parents.

Therefore, you should serve and take care of them as they did with you; however, your service to them will never be like their service to you as they suffered a lot in bringing you up, hoping that you might be among the successful. On the other hand, when you shoulder their burdens you hope that they will die soon.

Allâh also says:

"And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents." (TMQ al-`Ankabût 29:8)
"Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents..." (TMQ an-Nisâ' 4:36)

Here, Allâh has again mentioned the command to worship none but Him alongside the command to be dutiful to one's parents. Such is the importance of dutifulness to one's parents.

Allâh also says:

"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do." (TMQ Luqmân 31:14-15)

Ibn `Abbâs (radiyallâhu `anhu), said, "There are three verses which have been revealed associated with  three others. They are not accepted separately:

a) Allah, the Most High, says, 'Obey Allâh and obey the messenger, and beware! But if you turn away, then know that the duty of Our messenger is only plain conveyance (of the message).' (Al-Ma'idah: 92)
Thus, whoever only obeys Allâh [but not the messenger] will have his obedience not accepted.

b) 'And establish prayer and give zakâh' (AI-Baqarah: 43)
Hence, whoever performed prayers and does not pay Zakât will have his prayers not accepted

c) 'Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.' (Luqman: 14)
Whoever shows gratitude to Allâh and neglects his parents will not have his gratitude accepted."

It was reported by Abî Bakrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said three times, "Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" We said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)

Here, the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) is mentioning the major sin of shirk, the gravest sin in Islam, alongside undutifulness to one's parents!

It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allah's satisfaction is the parent's and His Wrath is theirs." (Collected by at-Tirmidhî)

It is related that `Abdullâh ibn Mas`ûd (radiyallâhu `anhu) said, "I asked the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam): 'O Messenger of Allah, which action is best?' He replied, 'The prayer at its proper time.' I asked, 'Then what?' He answered, 'To be good and dutiful to parents.' I asked, 'Then what?' He said, 'Jihad in the way of Allâh.' (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Muslim)

Note how the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) prioritised the service of parents over the virtuous deed of jihâd.

`Abdullâh ibn `Amr (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that a man came to the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) and asked his permission to go on Jihâd. The Prophet asked, 'Are your parents alive?' He replied, 'Yes.' He said, 'Then strive in caring for them.'" (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Muslim)

It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Whoever shows disrespect to his parents, he who reminds recipients of his charity to them and he who addicts to wine will not enter Paradise." (Collected by ad-Dârimi, Ahmad, an-Nasâ'î and Ibn Hibbân)

It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam)  said, "May Allâh curse he who shows disrespect to his parents." (Collected by al-Hâkim)

It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "May Allâh curse he who reviles his father; may Allâh curse he who reviles his mother." (Collected by Ahmad and an-Nasâ'î)

Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "There are four people who will not enter Paradise as Allah decreed: a drunkard, a usurer, he who appropriates the orphan's property without a legal cause and he who shows disrespect to one's parents." (Collected by al-Hâkim)

It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allâh delays whatever He wants of the sins until the Day of Judgment except showing disrespect to one's parents; it will be hastened to its doer. (i.e. the worldly punishment before the Day of Judgment)" (Collected  by al-Hâkim)

Treating one's parents with honour also requires sustaining them with the living costs when they are needy.

A man came and said to the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam), "O Messenger of Allâh, my father asks for my property.” Then the Prophet said, "Both you and what you possess are your father's." (Collected by Ibn Mâjah and Ahmad)

It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Three supplications are surely acceptable: the supplication of the oppressed, the traveler and the parents against their children." (Collected by at-Tirmidhî, Abû Dâwûd and Ibn Mâjah)

Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that a man came to Allah's Messenger (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) and said, "O Allah's Messenger! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father. " (Collected by al-Bukhârî)

Thus, the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) emphasises that the mother is the one who deserves much concern and therefore he mentioned her three times. It is indeed the mother who bears a lot in pregnancy, giving birth, and suckling & constant care to the child day and night.

However, we should also remember to keep companionship with and treat well our fathers too.

Once Ibn 'Umar (radiyallâhu `anhu) saw a man bearing his mother upon his shoulder and making Tawâf (circumambulation) around the Ka`bah. The man asked him, "Do you think that I requite her?" (i.e. do you think I can make up for all the things she has done for me?) [Ibn `Umar replied,] "No, not even with a cry from childbirth. But, well done. Allâh will give you in return for a little deed a great reward." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)

Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported Allaah's Messenger (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) as saying: "Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust." It was said: "Allah's Messenger, who is he?" He said: "He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise." (Collected by Muslim)

Islam also prohibits the abuse of the parents of others.

`Abdullâh ibn `Amr (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that Allah's Messenger said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents." It was asked (by the people), "O Allah's Messenger! How does a man curse his parents?" The Prophet said, "'The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)

It was also reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) also said, "An aunt is treated as a mother i.e., honourable treatment." (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Abî Dâwûd)

Ibn `Abbâs was asked about Ashâb al- A`râf (men of the Heights) and he said; "As for the Heights, it is a mountain between Fire and Paradise. It is so-called because it outlooks Fire and Paradise. It is also covered by trees, fruits, rivers and wells. As for the men who seized thereon, they are those who went out to fight in the cause of Allâh without their parents' permission and then are killed. Death in the cause of Allah protects them from the Hell-Fire. But disobedience to their parents deprived them of Paradise. Thus, they will be on the Heights until Allâh judges them.

One honours one's parents by obeying them, hastening to do what they are told, respecting them, praying for them, lowering one's voice in their presence, smiling at them, being humble in their presence, not showing displeasure towards them, striving to serve them, fulfilling their wishes, consulting them, listening to what they say, not being stubborn towards them and respecting their friends both during their lifetime and after they have died.

One can also honour one's parents by visiting them (if one does not live with them), offering them gifts and thanking them for bringing you up with kindness when you were small & after you grew up.

One must also strive to reduce the arguments between them, sincerely advise them and saying & doing things to calm them down.

However, one should honour and obey one's parents as long as it does not involve any disobedience towards Allâh and his Messenger, because there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.

When one's parents grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs, one should willingly and kindly help them and take care of their needs.

When one's parents are old or after they die, one should pray for forgiveness of their sins and mercy. A good example of such a supplication is "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

Abû Hurayrah reports that the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and a righteous son who will pray for him." (Collected by Muslim)

Anything mentioned that is inaccurate or false  has only come from the author's humane weaknesses, as well as the Shaytân. And whatever is true in this piece of writing has come from none but Allâh.

We ask Allâh to forgive our shortcomings and the shortcomings of our parents, and we ask Him to admit us into Paradise without prior torture.

Wallâhu A`lamu wa Ahkam

The Hadith of Jibril and Its Explanation

Bismillâh, wa-l-hamdulillâh, wa-s-salâtu wa-s-salâmu `alâ rasûlillâh

The Hadîth Text

Reported by `Umar ibn al-Khattab (radiyallâhu `anhu):

"One day we were sitting in the company of Allâh's Messenger (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) when there appeared before us a man dressed in pure white clothes, his hair extraordinarily black. There were no signs of travel on him. None amongst us recognised him.

At last he sat with the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam). He knelt before him placed his palms on his thighs and said: 'O Muhammad, inform me about Islam.' The Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said: 'Islam is that you testify that there is no god but Allâh and that Muhammad is the messenger of Allâh, and you establish prayer, pay Zakât, observe the fast of Ramadân, and perform pilgrimage to the House if you are solvent enough (to bear the expense of) the journey.' He (the inquirer) said: 'You have told the truth.' He (`Umar ibn al-Khattâb) said: 'It amazed us that he would put the question and then he would himself verify the truth.'

He (the enquirer) said: 'Inform me about Îmân (faith).' He (the Prophet) replied: 'That you affirm your faith in Allâh, in His angels, in His Books, in His Messengers, in the Last Day, and in the Divine Decree, both in its good and evil aspects. He (the inquirer) said: You have told the truth.'

He (the enquirer) said: 'Inform me about Ihsân (performance of good deeds). He (the Prophet) said: 'That you worship Allâh as if you are seeing Him, for though you don't see Him, He, verily, sees you.'

He (the enquirer) said: 'Inform me about the Hour.' He (the Prophet) said: 'The enquired one knows no more than the one who is enquiring [about it].' He (the enquirer) said: 'Inform me of its signs.' He (the Prophet) said: 'That the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress and master, that you will find barefooted, destitute goat-herds vying with one another in the construction of magnificent buildings.' Then he (the enquirer) went on his way but I stayed with him (the Prophet) for a long while. He then said to me: '`Umar, do you know who this enquirer was?' I replied: 'Allâh and His Messenger know best.' He (the Prophet) said: 'He was Jibrîl (the angel). He came to you in order to instruct you in matters of religion.'" (Collected by Muslim)

The Five Pillars of Islam

Islam is built upon five pillars:

1. Shahâdah (Testification). A Muslim must believe with the heart and declare with the tongue that there is no one deserving of worship except Allâh, and that Muhammad (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) is His Final Messenger.
2. Salah (Prayer). A Muslim must pray five times a day: Fajr (dawn), Zuhr (early afternoon), `Asr (late afternoon), Maghrib (evening), and `Ishâ' (night)
3. Zakâh (Alms). A Muslims is required to pay 2.5% of his/her wealth per year.
4. Sawm (Fasting). A Muslim is required to fast the whole of the month of Ramadân.
5. Hajj (Pilgrimage). A Muslim is required to perform pilgrimage to Makkah at least once in his/her lifetime.

The Six Pillars of Îmân (Faith)

Îmân (faith) has six pillars:

1. Belief in Allâh. We must believe in Allâh's Oneness & Uniqueness, His Existence, His Lordship, His Divine & Sublime Names & Attributes, His Perfection and His Sole Right to be worshipped.

2. Belief in His Angels. We must believe that Allâh created angels, who are honoured servants made from light. They do not disobey Allâh; they only do what He commands them to do. Only Allâh knows how many angels there are, but to indicate their great number, there is a hadîth that states that every day 70,000 angels visit al-Bayt al-Ma'mûr and leave, never returning to it again, another group coming after them.

We must know ten individual angels:

1. Jibrîl. He is the chief on the angels and is responsible for conveying the wahy (revelation) from Allâh to His Prophets.

2. Mîkâl (or Mîkâ'îl). He is responsible for rain and vegetation.

3. Isrâfîl. He is responsible for blowing the Trumpet, first to destroy everything except what Allâh wills, then the second time to signify the period of resurrection and judgement.

4. Malak al-Mawt. He is the angel of death. Every human will have his soul taken out of his body by this angel when his time comes to die.

5. & 6. Munkar & Nakîr. They are responsible for questioning the dead in their graves.

7. Ridwân. He is the main gatekeeper of Paradise

8. Mâlik. He is the chief gatekeeper of Hell

9. & 10. The two angels who record one's good and bad deeds, described in the Qur'ân as Raqîbun `Atîdun (observing, ready to record) and Kirâman Kâtibîn (noble & recording).

3. Belief in His Books. We must believe in the Divine Books that Allâh sent down to His

Messengers.

We must know four particular Books:

1. Tawrât (Torah), which was revealed to Prophet Mûsâ (`alayhi-s-salâm)

2. Zabûr (Psalms), which was revealed to Prophet Dâwûd (`alayhi-s-salâm)

3. Injîl (Gospel), which was revealed to Prophet `Îsâ (`alayhi-s-salâm)

4. Qur'ân, which was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam)

However, our belief in these Books does not mean we follow the teachings of these books. The only Divine Book we are allowed to follow is the Qur'ân.

We must also believe that ALL of the Books sent down before us do not exist in their true, original forms today; they have either been lost or corrupted by the people as time went by. Examples of corrupted books are the Tawrât and Injîl.

4. Belief in His Messengers. We must believe that Allâh sent Prophets and Messengers to to he people and jinn of nations before us to guide them to the path of the Truth, and that they have told the truth about everything they have conveyed from Allâh. We must also believe that Muhammad (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) was His Final Messenger and was sent to the worlds.

We must know 25 particular Prophets, all of whom are mentioned in the Qur'ân: Âdam, Idrîs, Nûh, Hûd, Sâlih, Lût, Ibrahîm, Ismâ`îl, Ishâq, Ya`qûb, Yûsuf, Shu`ayb, Mûsâ, Hârûn, Dâwûd, Sulaymân, Ayyûb, Dhû l-Kifl, Yûnus, Ilyâs, al-Yasa`, Zakariyyâ, Yahyâ, `Îsâ and Muhammad (`alayhimu-s-salâtu wa-s-salâm).

5. Belief in the Last Day. We must believe in the Day of Resurrection, the Day of Judgement, the day in which, as described by the Prophet himself (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam), "The two feet of the son of Adam will not move from near his Lord on the Day of Judgement until he is asked about five (matters): (1) about his life - how he spent it; (2) about his youth - how he took care of it; (3) about his wealth - how he earned it; (4) and where he spent it (5) and about that which he acted upon from the knowledge he acquired." (Narrated by at-Tirmidhî and others)

On this Day, every single person will be brought back to life, judged, have his/her good and bad deeds weighed up against each other, walk on the sirât and enter either Paradise or Hellfire.

6. Belief in Predestination/Divine Decree/Divine Will. We must believe that Allâh decreed for everything to happen. Whatever Allâh decreed to happen occurs and whatever Allâh does not decree to happen does not occur. Nothing happens except that Allâh knows it was going to happen and knew about it eternally.

So the question might be asked: Do we have free will? Why will Allâh punish us because of something he decreed for us to do anyway?

The answer is that Allâh does not hold us responsible for creating the act, for Allâh is the Creator of all acts. Rather, he holds us responsible for choosing the act. One proof of this is that a person who cannot choose is not held responsible, such as someone asleep, insane, a child, forced, unremembering, or someone who makes an honest mistake. The legal responsibility of such people is lifted because they lack full voluntary choice.

Another proof is that Nimrûd sinned for choosing to burn Ibrâhîm (`alayhi-s-salâm) even though Ibrâhîm did not burn; and that Ibrâhîm (`alayhi-s-salâm) became the Close Friend of Allâh for choosing to sacrifice his son out of obedience to Allâh, even though his knife did not cut and his son was not sacrificed. All of this shows that the servant is held responsible for his choice.

Also, we do not have any access to Allâh's Decree. So when we choose to do acts, we do so on the basis of a desire within ourselves, not because we know Allah's Decree, and as a result we are held responsible for our choices even though they correspond with Allâh's Decree.

(the rest will be posted soon Inshâ'allâh)

Wallâhu A`lam wa Ahkam

The Five Types of Ahkâm

Bismillâh, wa-l-hamdulillâh, wa-s-salâtu wa-s-salâmu `alâ rasûlillâh. Ammâ ba`d,

In Islâm, there are five categories of Ahkâm (rulings) for every action mankind does. These are: Fard, Mandûb, Mubâh, Makrûh and Harâm.

1. Fard/Wâjib (Obligatory). An action that is classed as Fard/Wâjib must be performed by anyone who is considered mukallaf.

However, according to the Hanafi Madh-hab, the terms Fard and Wâjib have slightly different Shar`i definitions, which can be found towards the end of this article.

The one who performs a Fard act is rewarded and praised. However, the one who neglects a Fard act deserves torture from the Supreme Lawgiver (Allâh) (سبحانه وتعالى) in the Hereafter, and is condemned. However, it is ultimately up to Allâh to decide either to punish him or to forgive him. And the one who deliberately denies the obligatory nature of a Fard act is considered a kâfir, since the evidence is definite both in meaning and transmission (mutawâtir).

Fard actions can be further broken down into two more categories:

a. Fard `Ayn, meaning individual obligation. Any act that is classed as Fard `Ayn must be performed by every single person. Examples are the five daily prayers, fasting Ramadân and giving Zakâh.

b. Fard Kifâyah, meaning communal obligation. Any act that is classed as Fard Kifâyah does not necessarily need to be performed by every single person; the obligation is fulfilled if a group of people within a community fulfil this obligation together, and so the sin is removed from everyone in the community. However, if no one in the community fulfils the obligation, then the sin falls on everyone in the community.
Examples of this are performing the five daily prayers in congregation; the washing, praying over & burial of the deceased; and implementing the Sharî`ah on the face of this Earth.

2. Mandûb/Mustahabb/Sunnah (Recommended). The one who perofrms a Mandûb/Mustahabb/Sunnah act is rewarded and praised. However, the one who leaves out a Mandûb/Mustahabb/Sunnah act is not punished nor condemned.

There are two types of Sunnah acts:

a. Sunnah Mu'akkadah, meaning a confirmed/established sunnah. These acts are emphasised upon the believer to do. The Prophet generally did not omit performing this type of sunnah.

Examples are praying two rak`ahs before Fajr prayer, as well as the other Sunan ar-Rawâtib (to be discussed later Inshâ'allâh), and praying Witr.

b. Sunnah Ghayr Mu'akkadah. These are the sunnah acts which the Sharî`ah does not place as much emphasis upon as the Sunnah Mu'akkadah have, but should still be performed by the righteous believer.

An example is praying 4 rak`ât before `Asr.

3. Mubâh (Permissible). Here, the Lawgiver (Allâh) (سبحانه وتعالى) is giving us the choice of doing an action or abstaining from it.

Actions which fall under this category are neutral; the one who performs them do not get rewarded nor punished for performing these actions.The same is said for the one who does not perform them.

Examples are reading the newspaper, taking a morning walk and renovating your home.

However, the righteous believer should not keep himself occupied with mubâh actions, such as playing [halâl] games or watching [halâl] television shows, as they waste time, and time is an asset the righteous believer cannot afford to waste. In fact, time is so improtant, Allâh (سبحانه وتعالى) swears an oath by it at the beginning of Sûrah al-`Asr.

4. Makrûh (Disliked). A makrûh act is that which the Supreme Lawgiver (سبحانه وتعالى) asks us not to do, but not in a definitive/decisive manner. The one who performs these acts is not punished nor condemned, but the one who leaves the Makrûh acts is rewarded and praised.

Examples of makrûh acts are eating foods that give you a smelly odour before coming to the masjid to pray (such as onions and garlic), speaking for no reason after `Ishâ' and not marrying.

Just because one is not punished for performing a makrûh action doesn't mean that one can perform makrûh actions all the time. It should be remembered that Allâh (سبحانه وتعالى) is the one who dislikes these acts, so would a sincere, God-fearing person do what his Creator, Sustainer and Lord [who is also the Creator, Sustainer and Lord of all that exists] dislikes?

5. Harâm (Prohibited). Actions that are classified as Harâm must be avoided by the believer.

The one who performs the Harâm deserves to be tortured by the Supreme Lawgiver (سبحانه وتعالى), and is condemned. However, it is ultimately up to Allâh to choose to torture the person or to forgive him.

The one who avoids and abstains from Harâm acts is rewarded and praised.

Examples of Harâm acts are drinking alcohol, stealing, committing zinâ (illegal sexual intercourse), lying and swearing.

The sixth type of action, according to the Hanafi madh-hab, falls between Fard and Mandûb, though it is very close to Fard.

Wâjib (Necessary). According to the Ahnâf (Hanafis), the ruling of a wâjib act is the same as a fard act; performing it must be done and its doer is rewarded and praised, and abstaining from it makes you deserving of torture from the Lawgiver (سبحانه وتعالى).

However, deliberately denying the necessary nature of a wâjib act does not make one a kâfir, unlike the Farâ'id, where the deliberate denial the obligatory nature of a Fard act makes you a kâfir.
This is because the evidence for wâjib actions is either definite in its transmission and ambiguous in its meaning, or probabilistic in its transmission and definite in its meaning; whereas the evidence for a fard action is definite both in meaning and transmission (mutawâtir).

According to the Hanafi Madh-hab, examples of Wâjib acts are the Witr prayer, `Eid prayer and Udhiyah (qurbân/sacrifice).

Once we have the knowledge of the categories every action falls under, we must consider every action we do as to which category it falls under. By doing this all the time, inshâ'Allâh, we will become more cautious about what we do.

And Allâh knows best.

Backbiting in Islâm

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicions are a sin. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it, [so similarly, avoid backbiting]. And fear Allâh. Indeed, Allâh is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'ân, 49:12)

"And do not follow that of which you do not have knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - [you] will be asked about all of those." (Qur'ân, 17:36)

"He does not utter a [single] word, except that there is, with him, [an angel] ready and waiting [to record it]." (Qur'ân, 50:18)

Imâm an-Nawawi says, "It is obligatory for every sane adult to guard his tongue against talking, except when it contains a clear benefit. If talking and remaining silent are of equal benefit, it is sunnah to abstain, for permissible talking might lead to something undesirable or forbidden, as in fact is very often the case, and nothing matches safety."

On the authority of Abû Hurayrah: "Whoever believes in Allâh and the Last Day should say [something] good, or he should keep silent." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim, Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Mâjah]

An-Nawawi says, "This hadith is quite explicit that it is imperative to not talk unless the speech is good, which is that wherein there is some benefit. If a person is in doubt as to whether there will be any benefit, then he should remain silent."

On the authority of Sahl ibn Sa`d: "Whoever guarantees for me what is between his two jaws and what is between his two legs, I guarantee Heaven for him." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim]

On the authority of `Uqbah ibn `Amir: I said, 'O Messenger of Allâh! What is salvation?" He said, "Hold your tongue, let your house contain you, and weep over your sins." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim]

Mu`âdh ibn Jabal said, "Are we even going to be held accountable for what we say?!" The Messenger of Allâh (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "May your mother be bereaved of you! Is there anything which drags people into the Fire on their faces other than the harvest of their tongues?!" [Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, classed as hasan sahîh]

On the authority of Abu Bakrah, from the Farewell Pilgrimage: "Indeed, your blood, property and honor are sacred to [one another], like the sanctity of this day of yours in this city of yours." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim]

On the authority of Abû Hurayrah: "All of a Muslim is prohibited to another Muslim: his blood, his honour and his property." [Narrated by Muslim]

"O assembly of those who have believed with their tongues, but into whose hearts faith has not yet reached! Do not backbite the Muslims, nor seek out their secrets! For, whoever seeks out the faults of his brother, Allâh will seek out his secrets. And, whoever has his secrets sought out by Allâh, Allâh will disgrace him, even [if he hides] in the depths of his house. [Narrated by Abî Dâwûd in al-Âdâb, 4/271, #4880]

"Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is more serious than adultery. A man may commit adultery, and drink [wine], and then repent, and Allâh will forgive him. But, the backbiter will not be forgiven by Allâh until his [backbited] companion forgives him." [Narrated by as-Suyûti, al-Jâmi` as-Saghîr, 1/174, #2919, from Ibn Abid-Dunya, and Abush-Shaykh, Al-Tawbikh.]

Meaning of Ghîbah

It has been defined precisely by the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) as, "Your mentioning your brother with something about him that he dislikes [being spoken about]."
Someone asked, "How about if my brother contains that [characteristic which I am mentioning]?"
He replied, "If he possesses that which you mention, then you have [indeed] backbited him. And, if he does not contain that which you say, then you have slandered him." [Narrated by Muslim in al-Birr, 4/2001, #70; Ahmad in Al-Musnad, 2/230,384]

Ghîbah in the guise of religiousity

"Praise be to Allâh who has saved us from such evil."
"We ask Allâh for protection."
"That poor fellow! Allâh has afflicted him with a great calamity. May Allâh forgive him and us."

Listening to Ghîbah

Someone who listens to backbiting is a partner to it. He is not absolved of the sin of listening unless he remonstrates verbally, or in his heart if he is afraid. If he is able to start talking about something else, or to change the subject of the conversation, then it is imperative for him to do so.

"And, when they hear vain talk, they turn away from it." (Qur'ân, 28:55)

"[Successful are] those who shun vain talk." (Qur'ân, 23:3)

"Whoever is present while a Muslim is humiliated before him, and is able to assist him [and yet does not], Allâh will humiliate him before [all of] creation." [Narrated by Ahmad in al-Musnad, 3/487; as-Suyûti in Al-Jâmi` As-Saghîr, 2/510, #8375]

"Whoever protects a believer from a hypocrite, Allâh will send to him an angel to protect him from the Fire of Hell on the Day of Arising." [Narrated by Abî Dâwûd in al-Âdâb, 4/272, #4883]

"Whoever averts [an attack] from the honour of his brother, Allâh will avert the fire from his face on the Day of Arising." [Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, classed as hasan]

Causes of Ghîbah

• Thirst for revenge. Backbiting one's brother and obtaining gratification from his anger.
• Peer pressure. Desire to fit in with and be accepted by one's companions.
• Desire to exalt one's self by degrading another. In the same way, one may become jealous when another is praised, and therefore seek to disparage him.
• Jest and play. A desire to make others laugh. Some people even make a living out of this.

Cure for Ghîbah

Realise that it exposes you to the displeasure of Allah, the Exalted. Remind yourself that your good deeds will go to the person whom you are backbiting, and his sins will be borne by you. Ponder over your own faults, and occupy yourself with correcting them. Feel ashamed to discuss the faults of others when you yourself have so many faults. If you are really free from fault, then occupy yourself with thanking Allaah for His favour. Just as you would dislike someone else backbiting you, put yourself in the place of the one whom you are inclined to backbite.

"Indeed, truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Heaven. And, a man [continues to] tell the truth, until he is recorded before Allah as a truthful one. And, indeed, lying leads to evil, and evil leads to Hell. And, a man [continues to] lie until he is recorded before Allâh as a liar." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim]

"Insulting a Muslim is impiety, and killing him is [a form of] unbelief." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim, Ahmad, an-Nasâ'i, Ibn Mâjah, at-Tirmidhi, at-Tabarâni, ad-Dâraqutni]

Ghibah of the Heart

To think the worst of Muslims. You may not think badly of a Muslim unless you have definite knowledge of his having done something evil, and there is no possible excuse or justification for him. You should try to make 70 excuses for your brother, and if you cannot find an excuse for him, look for some flaw in your perception. If someone informs you of something bad about someone else, it is obligatory upon you to investigate the matter. Is there some enmity between the informer and the one he is telling you about? You are obliged to think the best of your Muslim brother/sister. Thwart Satan by making du`â' for the person. Do not spy on your brother, under the pretext of trying to find out the truth. If it does turn out that he has done something wrong, then advise him in secret.

Cases in Which Ghîbah is Permissible

1. Injustice. One who has suffered injustice is entitled to mention the one who has committed injustice to someone who is capable of restoring his rights to him, such as a legitimate Muslim ruler or judge.

2. Seeking help to change an evil, or to reform the wrongdoer. If the intention in telling the ghibah is not to change the wrong, then it is forbidden to relate it.

3. Asking for a fatwâ. A person may say, 'My father/brother/wife has done such-and-such to me. What can I do about it?
On the authority of `Â'ishah: Hind, the wife of Abî Sufyân, said to the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace), "Abû Sufyân is a miserly man, and he is not giving me what would suffice me and my child, unless I take from him without his knowing." He said, "Take what suffices you and your child according to common usage." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim]
However, it is more precautionary to avoid mention of names, for example by asking instead, "What is the verdict regarding a person who has done such-and-such?"

4. Warning, such as warning a prospective buyer that the merchant is a swindler, or warning a student that his prospective teacher is an innovator or a deviant. Also, revealing the faults of weak narrators and forgers of hadith, and giving someone a candid appraisal of a person whom the former is thinking of marrying.
On the authority of Fâtimah bint Qays: she said, "I came to the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) and told him, "Abû Jahm and Mu`awiyah have [both] proposed to me." He said, "As for Mu`awiyah, he is a poor man with no money, and as for Abû Jahm, his stick never leaves his shoulder." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim, Mâlik]

5. If someone is commonly known by a nickname, although if there is some alternative way to refer to him, it is preferable.

6. Someone who sins openly, and has no qualms about his sins being mentioned.
However, it is not permissible to mention any of his secret sins.
"There can be no backbiting of one who casts off the mantle of modesty." [Narrated by as-Suyûti, al-Jâmi` As-Saghîr, 2/519, from al-Bayhaqi.]

Expiation for Ghîbah

The backbiter has committed two infringements; one upon the limits of Allah, and this must be expiated by repentance and regret. The second is on the rights of his brothers/sisters. If news of the backbiting has reached the person, the backbiter must apologise to him/her, and express regret at having said it.

"Whoever has wronged his brother, in the way of property or honour, let him go to him and repair it, before it is taken [from him on a day] when he has no dirhams or dinârs, such that if he has any good deeds, some of the good deeds will be taken and given to [the wronged one], otherwise [if he has no good deeds], some of the other's evil deeds will be taken and cast upon him." [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, al-Mazâlim, 5/121, #2449; Ahmad, al-Musnad, 2/435]

If the person has not learned that he has been backbitten, then the backbiter need not tell him, but he should ask Allaah to forgive him.
"The expiation with regard to one who has been backbitten is that forgiveness be asked for him." [Narrated by as-Suyûti, al-Jâmi` as-Saghîr, 2/390, #6259]

Mujâhid said: "The expiation for eating the flesh of your brother is that you praise him and pray for good for him, and similar is the case if he has died."

On Backbiting Non-Muslims

In the Name of Allaah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Praise be to Allâh, Who sent His messenger with the Guidance and the religion of truth, in order that He might make it prevail over all religions, though the pagans may be averse. Blessings and peace be upon the Messenger of Allaah, who was sent to perfect the noble traits of character.

To proceed: May Allâh guide you to felicity! You have asked about the permissibility of a Muslim’s backbiting a non-Muslim. A possible source of confusion here is that the Qur’anic verse prohibiting backbiting is addressed to the believers, and says, in translation,

‘O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed, some suspicions are a sin. And do not spy, nor backbite one another.’ (Qur’ân, 49:12)

Hence, one may mistakenly conclude that backbiting non-Muslims is permissible. However, one should beware of relying on first impressions, and especially in matters related to the Sacred Law, one should refrain from pronouncing one’s own, unlearned opinion on a matter based on one’s own impressions. The Qur’anic and hadith texts prohibiting speaking without knowledge, and censuring those who pronounce verdicts (fatwâ) rashly, are numerous, and we will not mention them here. The verdict here requires consideration of the evidence and texts in their totality, for only such can yield a full picture of the situation.

Firstly, the fact that the address is made to the Muslims, rather than to mankind in general, is understandable when one takes into consideration that the unbelievers, although also subject to all of Allaah’s commands, and technically obligated to follow them, (as evidenced by the clear texts of the Qur’ân, and backed by the consensus of Muslim scholars) are first and foremost called upon to believe. This is because rectitude of doctrine is a prerequisite for the acceptability of a good deed, and without belief in Allâh and all His Messengers, deeds are rendered worthless, like floating dust or scattered ashes, not earning their doer any reward in the Hereafter. It is only by accepting the message of Allaah, and all his Prophets, that one can ‘validate’ one’s good deeds so as to earn reward for them in the Hereafter. This includes those who followed the message of a previous Prophet, and they shall receive a double reward upon embracing the Final Message.

`Those to whom We gave the book before it, they believe in it. And, when it is recited to them, they say, ‘We believe in it. Indeed, it is the truth from our Lord. Indeed, we were, [even] before it, Muslims’. They will be given their reward twofold, because they persevered.’ (Qur’ân, 28:52-54)

Furthermore, there are some orders and prohibitions (or all, according to the epistemology of the Ash`aris) whose goodness or baseness can be known only through scriptural communication, such that an unbeliever would not be likely to obey them without first embracing faith.

That the address is made to the believers does not rule out its applicability to unbelievers; i.e. the command, `Do not backbite one another,’ does not, logically, imply a permission to backbite others. For example, Allâh says, (translated),

‘O you who believe! Devour not your wealth amongst yourselves by falsehood, except if it be by trade, by mutual consent amongst yourselves.’ (Qur’ân, 4:29)

This verse does not give permission to consume the wealth of the Dhimmis (non-Muslim subjects of the Islamic state). It is reported that the Messenger of Allaah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said,

‘Does any of you, while reclining on his couch, imagine that Allâh has prohibited only that which is to be found in this Qur'ân? By Allâh, I have preached, commanded and prohibited various matters as numerous as that which is found in the Qur'ân, or more numerous. Allâh has not permitted you to enter the houses of the people of the Book without permission, nor to beat their women, nor to eat their fruits when they give you that [tax] which is imposed on them.’ [Narrated by Abû Dâwûd]

And it is reported in another narration that he (peace and blessings be upon him and his Household) said: ‘Indeed, whoever wrongs a person of the contract (i.e. a Jew or a Christian), or deprecates him, or imposes upon him [something] beyond his capability, or takes anything from him without his consent, I shall be his adversary on the Day of Arising.’ [Narrated by Abû Dâwûd; al-Mundhiri said: it contains unknown narrators.]

This latter hadith is explicit regarding the prohibition of deprecating a Dhimmi, but its isnâd contains weakness, and so it cannot be used as a proof. However, the evidences to follow establish the prohibition of backbiting, and in their light, the above hadith can serve as supporting evidence.

The human being should realize that all his/her words are witnessed by Allâh, and recorded by the angelic scribes.

‘He does not utter a [single] word, except that there is, with him, [an angel] watching and waiting [to record it].’ (Qur’ân, 50:18)

Imâm an-Nawawi says, ‘It is obligatory for every sane adult to guard his tongue against talking, except when it contains a clear benefit. If talking and remaining silent are of equal benefit, it is sunnah to abstain, for permissible talking might lead to something undesirable or forbidden, as in fact is very often the case, and nothing matches safety.’

‘Allâh does not love the loud utterance of harsh/hurtful words, except by one who has been wronged. And Allâh is Seeing, Hearing.’ (Qur’ân, 4:148)

The Prophet (may Allah bless him and his Household and grant them peace), has said, ‘Whoever believes in Allâh and the Last Day should say something good, or should remain silent.’ [Narrated by al-Bukhâri, Muslim, Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Mâjah]

An-Nawawi says, ‘This hadith is quite explicit that it is imperative to not talk unless the speech is good, which is that wherein there is some benefit. If a person is in doubt as to whether there will be any benefit, then he should remain silent.’

And, the Prophet (may Allah bless him and his Household and grant them peace) said, ‘Treat people with good character.’ [Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, who said it is a good hadîth; an-Nawawi quoted it in his ‘Forty Hadith.’]

"The Muslim is not insulting, nor cursing, nor obscene, nor shameless." [Riyad al-Sâlihîn]

From the above Qur’ânic and hadîth texts, it becomes clear that a Muslim should only speak if there is some benefit in his words, and in particular, it does not become him to engage in harsh or hurtful speech. This forms a basis for not engaging in backbiting, even if it be against a non-Muslim. If we consider the underlying reasons and implications of this, our idea is reinforced. The motive for backbiting is often anger and a thirst for revenge, whereas the believer is supposed to control his anger. Or, it may be intended to degrade the one being backbited and to thereby exalt oneself, which tends to indicate a feeling of arrogance, and arrogance is prohibited by clear scriptural texts. Furthermore, the enmity and other such bad consequences of backbiting are detrimental to society and its smooth functioning. In general, a Muslim is supposed to deal well with people, except if there is some justifying misconduct from the opposite party.

‘Allâh does not prohibit you from being kind and equitable to those who have not fought you on account of your religion, nor driven you from your homes. And Allâh loves those who are equitable.’ (Qur’ân, 60:8)

al-Haskafi, the Hanafi jurist, says in "al-Durr al-Mukhtar," about the dhimmi, "Backbiting him is prohibited, just like [backbiting a Muslim]." Ibn `Âbidîn remarks in his marginal annotations "Hashiyat Radd al-Muhtar, "And, it has been said: Backbiting a dhimmi is more severe [than backbiting a Muslim]."

All this having been said, it should be pointed out that although backbiting in general is prohibited, there are certain circumstances which make it permissible. At this point, it is useful to distinguish between two types of misdemeanors and sins of unbelievers :

1. Deeds which they do openly and shamelessly, because they maintain that they are permissible according to their religion, or because they have little modesty or concern for public opinion. Mentioning such misdeeds of an unbeliever is not considered backbiting, just as in the case of a sinful Muslim who sins in public with impunity.
2. Evil deeds which they do covertly and in hiding, due to their admitting their evil nature. It is not permissible to backbite them regarding these.

Backbiting a non-Muslim is also permissible in the other cases where backbiting a Muslim is justified, viz. To redress an injustice, to seek help to change an evil, asking for a fatwâ, accepted nicknames, and warning people against evil.

We conclude with the following hadith, which mentions the punishment for backbiting people (without distinguishing between believers and unbelievers; it therefore serves as support for the verdict we have mentioned).

"Abû Dâwûd has reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, ‘When I was taken up to heaven (i.e. during the Mi`râj) I passed by people who had nails of copper with which they were scratching their faces and their breasts. I said, ‘Who are these [people], O Gabriel?’ He replied: ‘They are those who consumed the flesh of people [i.e. backbite them] and aspersed their honour.’

And Allâh, the Exalted knows best.

Taken from "Mukhtasar Minhaj al-Qasideen" (being Ibn Qudamah's abridgement of Ibn al-Jawzi's summary of al-Ghazzali's "Ihya' `Ulum al-Deen") © Suheil Laher

Signs of Puberty in Islam

Islamically, one is considered pubescent/adolescent if one of the following things happen:

1. Pubic hair, which is the growth of coarse hair around the private part (Not according to the madhâhib ash-Shâfi`i and Abû Hanîfah)
2. Emission of maniyy from the private part
3. Menstruation [for a woman]
4. If none of the above happen, then when he/she turns 15 lunar years old

Maniyy for a man is semen, which is a thick, white liquid that gushes.

Maniyy for a woman is a thin and yellow fluid.

Imâm an-Nawawi said about maniyy: "The scholars said: When a man is healthy, his semen is white and thick, and gushes out in spurts accompanied by feelings of pleasure. After it has come out, it is followed immediately by a feeling of being drained and exhausted. Its smell is like that of palm tree pollen, which in turn resembles the smell of dough [...] Each one of these three characteristics is sufficient for it to be defined as semen; it is not necessary for all three features to be present. If none of them are present, the substance cannot be described as semen and in all likelihood it is not.
"All of the above applies to the maniyy of men; in the case of women, their maniyy is thin and yellow, although it could become white if the woman is strong. It has two distinguishing characteristics, either of which is sufficient to class the substance as maniyy: firstly, it smells like the maniy of men, and secondly, its emission is accompanied by feelings of pleasure and is immediately followed by exhaustion."

It is also worth noting that the one who is insane is not considered mukallaf.