Bismillâh, wa-l-hamdulillâh, wa-s-salâtu wa-s-salâmu `alâ rasûlillâh
Islam, the religion of morality and truth, has heavily enjoined upon man to honour, respect and be kind with one's parents. Islam has also warned of the consequences of one's ill-treatment, disrespect or disobeying of his/her parents.
This has been mentioned in many places in the Qur'ân, such as:
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'" (TMQ al Isrâ' 17:23-24)
Note how Allâh has mentioned the command to worship none but Him alongside the command to be dutiful to one's parents.
Therefore, you should serve and take care of them as they did with you; however, your service to them will never be like their service to you as they suffered a lot in bringing you up, hoping that you might be among the successful. On the other hand, when you shoulder their burdens you hope that they will die soon.
Allâh also says:
"And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents." (TMQ al-`Ankabût 29:8)
"Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents..." (TMQ an-Nisâ' 4:36)
Here, Allâh has again mentioned the command to worship none but Him alongside the command to be dutiful to one's parents. Such is the importance of dutifulness to one's parents.
Allâh also says:
"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do." (TMQ Luqmân 31:14-15)
Ibn `Abbâs (radiyallâhu `anhu), said, "There are three verses which have been revealed associated with three others. They are not accepted separately:
a) Allah, the Most High, says, 'Obey Allâh and obey the messenger, and beware! But if you turn away, then know that the duty of Our messenger is only plain conveyance (of the message).' (Al-Ma'idah: 92)
Thus, whoever only obeys Allâh [but not the messenger] will have his obedience not accepted.
b) 'And establish prayer and give zakâh' (AI-Baqarah: 43)
Hence, whoever performed prayers and does not pay Zakât will have his prayers not accepted
c) 'Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.' (Luqman: 14)
Whoever shows gratitude to Allâh and neglects his parents will not have his gratitude accepted."
It was reported by Abî Bakrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said three times, "Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" We said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allah's satisfaction is the parent's and His Wrath is theirs." (Collected by at-Tirmidhî)
It is related that `Abdullâh ibn Mas`ûd (radiyallâhu `anhu) said, "I asked the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam): 'O Messenger of Allah, which action is best?' He replied, 'The prayer at its proper time.' I asked, 'Then what?' He answered, 'To be good and dutiful to parents.' I asked, 'Then what?' He said, 'Jihad in the way of Allâh.' (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Muslim)
Note how the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) prioritised the service of parents over the virtuous deed of jihâd.
`Abdullâh ibn `Amr (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that a man came to the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) and asked his permission to go on Jihâd. The Prophet asked, 'Are your parents alive?' He replied, 'Yes.' He said, 'Then strive in caring for them.'" (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Muslim)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Whoever shows disrespect to his parents, he who reminds recipients of his charity to them and he who addicts to wine will not enter Paradise." (Collected by ad-Dârimi, Ahmad, an-Nasâ'î and Ibn Hibbân)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "May Allâh curse he who shows disrespect to his parents." (Collected by al-Hâkim)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "May Allâh curse he who reviles his father; may Allâh curse he who reviles his mother." (Collected by Ahmad and an-Nasâ'î)
Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "There are four people who will not enter Paradise as Allah decreed: a drunkard, a usurer, he who appropriates the orphan's property without a legal cause and he who shows disrespect to one's parents." (Collected by al-Hâkim)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allâh delays whatever He wants of the sins until the Day of Judgment except showing disrespect to one's parents; it will be hastened to its doer. (i.e. the worldly punishment before the Day of Judgment)" (Collected by al-Hâkim)
Treating one's parents with honour also requires sustaining them with the living costs when they are needy.
A man came and said to the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam), "O Messenger of Allâh, my father asks for my property.” Then the Prophet said, "Both you and what you possess are your father's." (Collected by Ibn Mâjah and Ahmad)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Three supplications are surely acceptable: the supplication of the oppressed, the traveler and the parents against their children." (Collected by at-Tirmidhî, Abû Dâwûd and Ibn Mâjah)
Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that a man came to Allah's Messenger (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) and said, "O Allah's Messenger! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father. " (Collected by al-Bukhârî)
Thus, the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) emphasises that the mother is the one who deserves much concern and therefore he mentioned her three times. It is indeed the mother who bears a lot in pregnancy, giving birth, and suckling & constant care to the child day and night.
However, we should also remember to keep companionship with and treat well our fathers too.
Once Ibn 'Umar (radiyallâhu `anhu) saw a man bearing his mother upon his shoulder and making Tawâf (circumambulation) around the Ka`bah. The man asked him, "Do you think that I requite her?" (i.e. do you think I can make up for all the things she has done for me?) [Ibn `Umar replied,] "No, not even with a cry from childbirth. But, well done. Allâh will give you in return for a little deed a great reward." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)
Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported Allaah's Messenger (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) as saying: "Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust." It was said: "Allah's Messenger, who is he?" He said: "He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise." (Collected by Muslim)
Islam also prohibits the abuse of the parents of others.
`Abdullâh ibn `Amr (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that Allah's Messenger said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents." It was asked (by the people), "O Allah's Messenger! How does a man curse his parents?" The Prophet said, "'The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)
It was also reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) also said, "An aunt is treated as a mother i.e., honourable treatment." (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Abî Dâwûd)
Ibn `Abbâs was asked about Ashâb al- A`râf (men of the Heights) and he said; "As for the Heights, it is a mountain between Fire and Paradise. It is so-called because it outlooks Fire and Paradise. It is also covered by trees, fruits, rivers and wells. As for the men who seized thereon, they are those who went out to fight in the cause of Allâh without their parents' permission and then are killed. Death in the cause of Allah protects them from the Hell-Fire. But disobedience to their parents deprived them of Paradise. Thus, they will be on the Heights until Allâh judges them.
One honours one's parents by obeying them, hastening to do what they are told, respecting them, praying for them, lowering one's voice in their presence, smiling at them, being humble in their presence, not showing displeasure towards them, striving to serve them, fulfilling their wishes, consulting them, listening to what they say, not being stubborn towards them and respecting their friends both during their lifetime and after they have died.
One can also honour one's parents by visiting them (if one does not live with them), offering them gifts and thanking them for bringing you up with kindness when you were small & after you grew up.
One must also strive to reduce the arguments between them, sincerely advise them and saying & doing things to calm them down.
However, one should honour and obey one's parents as long as it does not involve any disobedience towards Allâh and his Messenger, because there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.
When one's parents grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs, one should willingly and kindly help them and take care of their needs.
When one's parents are old or after they die, one should pray for forgiveness of their sins and mercy. A good example of such a supplication is "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
Abû Hurayrah reports that the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and a righteous son who will pray for him." (Collected by Muslim)
Anything mentioned that is inaccurate or false has only come from the author's humane weaknesses, as well as the Shaytân. And whatever is true in this piece of writing has come from none but Allâh.
We ask Allâh to forgive our shortcomings and the shortcomings of our parents, and we ask Him to admit us into Paradise without prior torture.
Wallâhu A`lamu wa Ahkam
Islam, the religion of morality and truth, has heavily enjoined upon man to honour, respect and be kind with one's parents. Islam has also warned of the consequences of one's ill-treatment, disrespect or disobeying of his/her parents.
This has been mentioned in many places in the Qur'ân, such as:
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'" (TMQ al Isrâ' 17:23-24)
Note how Allâh has mentioned the command to worship none but Him alongside the command to be dutiful to one's parents.
Therefore, you should serve and take care of them as they did with you; however, your service to them will never be like their service to you as they suffered a lot in bringing you up, hoping that you might be among the successful. On the other hand, when you shoulder their burdens you hope that they will die soon.
Allâh also says:
"And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents." (TMQ al-`Ankabût 29:8)
"Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents..." (TMQ an-Nisâ' 4:36)
Here, Allâh has again mentioned the command to worship none but Him alongside the command to be dutiful to one's parents. Such is the importance of dutifulness to one's parents.
Allâh also says:
"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do." (TMQ Luqmân 31:14-15)
Ibn `Abbâs (radiyallâhu `anhu), said, "There are three verses which have been revealed associated with three others. They are not accepted separately:
a) Allah, the Most High, says, 'Obey Allâh and obey the messenger, and beware! But if you turn away, then know that the duty of Our messenger is only plain conveyance (of the message).' (Al-Ma'idah: 92)
Thus, whoever only obeys Allâh [but not the messenger] will have his obedience not accepted.
b) 'And establish prayer and give zakâh' (AI-Baqarah: 43)
Hence, whoever performed prayers and does not pay Zakât will have his prayers not accepted
c) 'Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.' (Luqman: 14)
Whoever shows gratitude to Allâh and neglects his parents will not have his gratitude accepted."
It was reported by Abî Bakrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said three times, "Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" We said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)
Here, the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) is mentioning the major sin of shirk, the gravest sin in Islam, alongside undutifulness to one's parents!
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allah's satisfaction is the parent's and His Wrath is theirs." (Collected by at-Tirmidhî)
It is related that `Abdullâh ibn Mas`ûd (radiyallâhu `anhu) said, "I asked the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam): 'O Messenger of Allah, which action is best?' He replied, 'The prayer at its proper time.' I asked, 'Then what?' He answered, 'To be good and dutiful to parents.' I asked, 'Then what?' He said, 'Jihad in the way of Allâh.' (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Muslim)
Note how the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) prioritised the service of parents over the virtuous deed of jihâd.
`Abdullâh ibn `Amr (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that a man came to the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) and asked his permission to go on Jihâd. The Prophet asked, 'Are your parents alive?' He replied, 'Yes.' He said, 'Then strive in caring for them.'" (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Muslim)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Whoever shows disrespect to his parents, he who reminds recipients of his charity to them and he who addicts to wine will not enter Paradise." (Collected by ad-Dârimi, Ahmad, an-Nasâ'î and Ibn Hibbân)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "May Allâh curse he who shows disrespect to his parents." (Collected by al-Hâkim)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "May Allâh curse he who reviles his father; may Allâh curse he who reviles his mother." (Collected by Ahmad and an-Nasâ'î)
Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "There are four people who will not enter Paradise as Allah decreed: a drunkard, a usurer, he who appropriates the orphan's property without a legal cause and he who shows disrespect to one's parents." (Collected by al-Hâkim)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allâh delays whatever He wants of the sins until the Day of Judgment except showing disrespect to one's parents; it will be hastened to its doer. (i.e. the worldly punishment before the Day of Judgment)" (Collected by al-Hâkim)
Treating one's parents with honour also requires sustaining them with the living costs when they are needy.
A man came and said to the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam), "O Messenger of Allâh, my father asks for my property.” Then the Prophet said, "Both you and what you possess are your father's." (Collected by Ibn Mâjah and Ahmad)
It was reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Three supplications are surely acceptable: the supplication of the oppressed, the traveler and the parents against their children." (Collected by at-Tirmidhî, Abû Dâwûd and Ibn Mâjah)
Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that a man came to Allah's Messenger (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) and said, "O Allah's Messenger! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father. " (Collected by al-Bukhârî)
Thus, the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) emphasises that the mother is the one who deserves much concern and therefore he mentioned her three times. It is indeed the mother who bears a lot in pregnancy, giving birth, and suckling & constant care to the child day and night.
However, we should also remember to keep companionship with and treat well our fathers too.
Once Ibn 'Umar (radiyallâhu `anhu) saw a man bearing his mother upon his shoulder and making Tawâf (circumambulation) around the Ka`bah. The man asked him, "Do you think that I requite her?" (i.e. do you think I can make up for all the things she has done for me?) [Ibn `Umar replied,] "No, not even with a cry from childbirth. But, well done. Allâh will give you in return for a little deed a great reward." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)
Abû Hurayrah (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported Allaah's Messenger (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) as saying: "Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust." It was said: "Allah's Messenger, who is he?" He said: "He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise." (Collected by Muslim)
Islam also prohibits the abuse of the parents of others.
`Abdullâh ibn `Amr (radiyallâhu `anhu) reported that Allah's Messenger said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents." It was asked (by the people), "O Allah's Messenger! How does a man curse his parents?" The Prophet said, "'The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother." (Collected by al-Bukhârî)
It was also reported that the Messenger of Allâh (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) also said, "An aunt is treated as a mother i.e., honourable treatment." (Collected by al-Bukhârî and Abî Dâwûd)
Ibn `Abbâs was asked about Ashâb al- A`râf (men of the Heights) and he said; "As for the Heights, it is a mountain between Fire and Paradise. It is so-called because it outlooks Fire and Paradise. It is also covered by trees, fruits, rivers and wells. As for the men who seized thereon, they are those who went out to fight in the cause of Allâh without their parents' permission and then are killed. Death in the cause of Allah protects them from the Hell-Fire. But disobedience to their parents deprived them of Paradise. Thus, they will be on the Heights until Allâh judges them.
One honours one's parents by obeying them, hastening to do what they are told, respecting them, praying for them, lowering one's voice in their presence, smiling at them, being humble in their presence, not showing displeasure towards them, striving to serve them, fulfilling their wishes, consulting them, listening to what they say, not being stubborn towards them and respecting their friends both during their lifetime and after they have died.
One can also honour one's parents by visiting them (if one does not live with them), offering them gifts and thanking them for bringing you up with kindness when you were small & after you grew up.
One must also strive to reduce the arguments between them, sincerely advise them and saying & doing things to calm them down.
However, one should honour and obey one's parents as long as it does not involve any disobedience towards Allâh and his Messenger, because there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.
When one's parents grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs, one should willingly and kindly help them and take care of their needs.
When one's parents are old or after they die, one should pray for forgiveness of their sins and mercy. A good example of such a supplication is "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
Abû Hurayrah reports that the Prophet (sallallâhu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "When a man dies, his good deeds come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge and a righteous son who will pray for him." (Collected by Muslim)
Anything mentioned that is inaccurate or false has only come from the author's humane weaknesses, as well as the Shaytân. And whatever is true in this piece of writing has come from none but Allâh.
We ask Allâh to forgive our shortcomings and the shortcomings of our parents, and we ask Him to admit us into Paradise without prior torture.
Wallâhu A`lamu wa Ahkam
